I was thinking too much lately on a training instructor that got under my skin the other day. I have to sit in his class a few more times until training completion and, for the first time, in a long time, I am sort of actually dreading it. He's not too horrible with his comments and sneers, yet, though his reputation precedes him. But there are still a couple more classes for him to get his digs in.
He likes to pick on a particular demographic of workers and pit them against the other employee demographic solely for their choice of profession. He likes to pit these two groups against each other for his own entertainment.
Now, not only is he an instructor, but also nearly, if not in elderly age. Most would think that those with more experience in life would be more mature, but that's not always the case. Certainly, he has some deep rooted personal issues, but the classroom or any professional setting is no the place for it.
But what bothers me, is not what he has to say, and not the fact that he tries to make my work demographic the "enemy", but rather the fact that I allowed him to get under my skin.
Do I hate him? No.
Am I taking any of his insults personally? No.
Does he make me want to curl into a little ball and cry? Fuck no.
So in the long run, who cares? I have a few more classes, I pass the training exam, and I go about my life. Like everything in life, it's temporary. I have what? 18 more hours at most with this instructor? So what's the problem? His opinion certainly shouldn't matter. Why do I care? Why does it bother me so much?
And the answer is: I don't know.
I sure miss summer that's for sure. Everything was so laid back and enjoyable. I dream of ocean water and sunkissed bliss. Everything is always better in the summer.
But weather doesn't fix anything. I have to fix it myself.
I don't know why certain things get to me. Maybe because I don't deserve the bullying during class, but that's life. There is always going to be someone who doesn't like you whether it's a friend of a friend, or your boss. It's doesn't make it right or wrong, it's just life, and we just move on from it.
Again, I am not as bothered by what he has to say, but the fact that in a moment of weakness, I allowed him to get under my skin. I'm human, I know, but I'd rather be on the road to self-improvement then care about correcting someone who is clearly not open to change.
There are many profain names I can call him, and it'll probably relieve some stress, but in the end I know it's not worth it.
As much as I don't think someone deserves kindness or compassion, I also don't deserve to be burdened with negative emotions. I don't need them and I shouldn't allow myself to hold onto them.
Because I deserve better.
I always try my best, but I want to remind myself what I can actively do to better my situation.
1. Don't take things personally
As much as I don't deserve the criticisms or insults, it's not about me. It's about this person's problem with something that they don't have the maturity to handle in a better way than to take it out on other people - other people, I might add, who have been nothing but nice. It's not what's wrong with me - it's what the other person's dealing with.
When I remember this, I often pity the person. How sad and miserable their life must be to only get enjoyment of tearing other people down? That's certainly not a way to live and I am thankful for the life I have, as I am probably much happier than them any given day of the week.
2. Seek guidance
Being a new employee, and someone without a fully built reputation yet, it is not in my favor to just spout out whatever I think in my head, no matter how satisfying I think it will be.
So I seek advice from my superiors and co-workers who have maybe dealt with the same person. Whether or not they support me in my frustrations will allow me to figure the best course of action.
If they won't support me, chances are, they won't support me if I said something to my aggressor during class. Then I'm on my own. If I do have support, I ask their opinions of how an employee of that company should handle things. Of course I always make my own decision, but honest input is always appreciated and helpful.
3. Say something
Not just something, but a clear, cut, simple message. Not something mean or merely a witty comeback, something professional and an example of my maturity. Do we think of different ways to sass or put our aggressors in their place? Many times, yes. Is it worth it in the end? Probably not. The high road always seems to be less crowded in my opinion, and the air is quite fresh.
If the other party doesn't care to be civil even when I offer kindness? Then, well, I tried. Can't fault myself for trying. My aggressor can't say the same.
"We show respect to everyone here, and we would really appreciate the same courtesy." Isn't a phrase that sensible people would meet with an insult. Look good for your company, and stand up for yourself.
Be brave. Like Sara Bareillis once said: "You can be the outcast, or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love. Or you can start speaking up."
4. Don't think on it more than you should
I think about things way too much. And when I do, it consumes me in the worst way. If someone already makes me feel like crap in the classroom, why think on it more and feel crappy at home, too? I deserve better than to do that to myself. I can't help it all the time, but I can certainly try.
Watching Youtube videos, blogging, catching up with my shows on Netflix, redecorating my room, quality time with my loved ones, folding laundry, shaving my legs - they all deserve my time far more than some jerk who I left at work and don't have to deal with until the next class.
5. Take it one day at a time
"In time, this too shall pass." I forget who said this, but it's very true. Nothing lasts forever, not the negativity, not the happiness. I'll enjoy what I can, because I'll be never get this time back again, and my time is precious.
It seems more daunting when I think about how I have this many more classes or this many more days or this many more hours in this hostile classroom environment. That's me thinking too much and stressing over something that I won't have to deal with until the next class.
So I remember that though I do have more classes with this instructor, I still have plenty of time, and work, and fun until my next class.
This class is just another small block in my schedule. It doesn't deserve the stress and attention of my entire life story.
I have so much more to be grateful for that this negativity doesn't deserve my time.
I have so much more to be grateful for than to allow this negativity a place in my heart.
I hope everyone has an amazing weekend!
o-o-o-o-o-o
Happy Friday!
-Chelle
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