The year of the sheep was a year of great spiritual awakening for me. It was a year I learned how to let go and just live in the present. Mostly it was a year I learned how to accept and overcome myself and be secure that I am fine where I am, how I am.
The overall tone of this year was stillness. Not that I stayed still, but that there was a lack of energy this year. At first it was something I didn't like. Up until this past year, I was used to high energy, being filled with excitement, expecting more from myself, things like that.
But I very well knew I needed a break. From everything. And just have time to myself.
At first I didn't like that I needed a break because I'm wasting a valuable year in my very short 20's. But I'm very grateful for having it. Anyone who knows me tells me that I'm ambitious, energetic, driven. And I don't want to stop any of that. I just needed a break.
When I reflect, I realized that I used to think that I have a responsibility in everything I do. I still think that, but I had to learn that things can very well be out of my control and can be very much not my fault. I was conflicting because I had always been able to somehow make my situation better or water my own grass. And when I could not, I felt secure in that it was time to move on
I learned to relax. To treat life as a beach and know that my desire for down time is just as valid as everyone else, and is perfectly normal.
I used to feel guilty enjoying myself because of whatever work I needed to do. I'm grateful to be over that.
I also learned a lot of forgiveness this year. To forgive myself of things I could not change, and to forgive others for whatever reason. Letting go used to be difficult for me. I used to hold onto anger and other negative emotions because I would keep thinking about it over and over.
Letting go is one of the most liberating and relieving feelings in the world. It can be difficult. It can be f-cking difficult. But it's not impossible. And like anything, with practice, it becomes easier every time.
I exit the year of the sheep filled with gratitude, a stronger heart, and freedom of acceptance.
And so I look onto the new year with a new fire in my soul and will not hold back.
“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.”
-Paulo Coelho
o-o-o-o-o-o
Happy New Year!
-Chelle
