Before I fully embrace 2015, I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on a 2014. Last year was full of many experiences, some good, some not so good, but mostly good. For a while I felt that 2014 wasn't my year, but I don't have any regrets, only a few life lessons I relearned in a much greater magnitude. The year felt like a blur and everything is meshed together; the fun times, the sad times, the struggles and the triumphs, everything in the end was worth it and I learned a whole lot. Through it all, I took away these 5 things:
There were days when I would question myself if I belonged in graduate school, or belonged in my position, or even belonged in my field. Whether it was impostor syndrome or whatever, I learned to just keep going. Although Dory was blissfully ignorant about anything and everything when she sang "just keep swimming", she still has a point.
Because time doesn't stop for anyone. Time doesn't pause for any one of us to just stop and break down or just think about things. We've all had melt-downs and we know that everything keeps moving along around us. Even if we're collapsed in the middle of our floor, surrounded by papers and documents trying to figure how what to do with our lives or how to fix whatever situation we're trying to remedy, life keeps going. Learn from these mistakes and move on.
Take what you can from any experience you have; don't let it take away from you.
When I entered graduate school as a Research Assistant going for an M.S., I thought that this was my path: academia. I thought that I should just stay in this path because it's been carved out for me and it would be ungrateful of me not to appreciate this opportunity. I thought I should finish an M.S. then go for a PhD, then go from there. I did love research and was excited for lab work, reading articles, writing reports, and possibly maybe publishing something. And although I was willing to put in the work for it and knew there would be perks in doing so, I never really felt satisfied with the work I was doing. It was not the work itself, but how much of my life I would be dedicating to it for a goal I thought would "nice" but couldn't believe to be my vocation. I could do the work, put in the time, but more often than not, I would find my day ending on a negative note.
I wasn't happy.
I was afraid to admit it because I didn't want to think I had wasted time and other people's time and resources for me to reach the point in my career that I had reached. I didn't want to admit that I had made a mistake in my life choices. But like I said in my first point about mistakes: you accept them and move on. And so I took the time to rethink my life-goals and made the necessary changes to switch from academia to industry. I felt strange about this shift in my life at first, felt like I was quitting, but have found myself much happier.
And we all deserve happiness.
Set aside the pride and the fears and be true to yourself. Take care of what you need to take care of, keep your eyes on your end goal, but don't let yourself feel trapped. Where there is a will there is a way; and where there is desire, there is passion; and where there is passion, there is life.
4) Always appreciate what and who you have, every chance you get.
In college, everything was in close proximity, within your reach. You knew where your friends would be studying so you could join, you ate meals together almost every day, you know everything going on in their lives and you share in events and happenings around campus and suffer together the exams and the projects and grew together as stronger people.
But in graduate school, it can be quite lonely. This crucial point in your academic career, so you don't have much time for much else; and you have little motivation to do much else when you're starting over in a new place trying to acclimate yourself to your new life. You find yourself more interested in spending time alone in your apartment than attending a birthday dinner with your co-workers, or find yourself drifting apart from close friends without so much as a text message from neither you nor them because no one has the time. You go through your old Facebook photos and miss the good old days. And when you finally do come into contact with an old friend, you realize how different each other's lives are and it's not quite the same.
And during these times, I realized that I have taken for granted all the times I've spent with my friends and family and am more grateful now more than ever to have them. The old saying goes 'you don't know what you have until it's gone' or something along those lines. It's quite true, and it's quite sad, but it's life.
Keep contact, make plans, put in the effort to keep the ones you love.
5) Life is not given, it's made.
For 2015 and onward, I will practice what I preach with my new sense of motivation. And so with this, I bid farewell to 2014 and the experiences I was lucky enough to have.
Highlights of my 2014
Anything with my friends is always an adventure, meeting Michelle Phan of course wasn't half bad, either. Disney on ice, beach, sun and sand galore. Dear friends graduating, Texas, white water rafting, and more. 2014, you were good to me in your own way and I thank you. Glad to say we bid the year farewell with a bang: late hot pot dinner at Kaze Shabu Shabu, ice sculptures in the Commons, and fireworks by the Aquarium :D
This was the first New Years where I honestly felt like being an old lady and staying home in my pajamas and doing nothing, but I resisted that bought of laziness and went out - I'm glad I did. After all, any reason to celebrate is a good one - especially things that only happen once a year. Spicy Thai som tom broth, fried dough, ice cut into an atom, and pretty colors also help.
2015, I know we've only barely met for two weeks, but I have a feeling we will have a very interesting if not marvelous year together. The feeling of the new year has been both invigorating and eye opening.
1) It's okay to make mistakes. Because you're human. And you grow. So let go.
In the grand scheme of things, we look back at all the little mistakes we make and we laugh at how silly they were. When we were children, we might have worried that we would get in trouble for spilling a glass of juice on the carpet. In high school, we might have learned the hard way what real friends are like or built a poor reputation for ourselves. In college, we might have stayed up too late with our friends and completely bombed an exam the next morning. But in the grand scheme of things, none of that mattered.
In the moment, we feel completely different. In the moment, we feel as if the world may end, that we might have ruined everything and that we have screw up our lives beyond repair. But after the stress passes, we realize how small these mistakes were.
Other bigger mistakes, like messing up a vital experiment, embarrassing yourself at a presentation for your sponsor or department head, or oversleeping for a very important meeting or interview. Those are harder to get over, but you get over them. You have to, because the world won't stop for you. The world is not going to stop and let you pity yourself. If you want to pity yourself, you are using time that is gifted to you from life that you could be using for something else.
In the moment, we feel completely different. In the moment, we feel as if the world may end, that we might have ruined everything and that we have screw up our lives beyond repair. But after the stress passes, we realize how small these mistakes were.
Other bigger mistakes, like messing up a vital experiment, embarrassing yourself at a presentation for your sponsor or department head, or oversleeping for a very important meeting or interview. Those are harder to get over, but you get over them. You have to, because the world won't stop for you. The world is not going to stop and let you pity yourself. If you want to pity yourself, you are using time that is gifted to you from life that you could be using for something else.
2) Never give up on yourself. And never stop moving.
There were days when I would question myself if I belonged in graduate school, or belonged in my position, or even belonged in my field. Whether it was impostor syndrome or whatever, I learned to just keep going. Although Dory was blissfully ignorant about anything and everything when she sang "just keep swimming", she still has a point.
Because time doesn't stop for anyone. Time doesn't pause for any one of us to just stop and break down or just think about things. We've all had melt-downs and we know that everything keeps moving along around us. Even if we're collapsed in the middle of our floor, surrounded by papers and documents trying to figure how what to do with our lives or how to fix whatever situation we're trying to remedy, life keeps going. Learn from these mistakes and move on.
Take what you can from any experience you have; don't let it take away from you.
3) Do what makes you happy and keep in mind your end goals.
When I entered graduate school as a Research Assistant going for an M.S., I thought that this was my path: academia. I thought that I should just stay in this path because it's been carved out for me and it would be ungrateful of me not to appreciate this opportunity. I thought I should finish an M.S. then go for a PhD, then go from there. I did love research and was excited for lab work, reading articles, writing reports, and possibly maybe publishing something. And although I was willing to put in the work for it and knew there would be perks in doing so, I never really felt satisfied with the work I was doing. It was not the work itself, but how much of my life I would be dedicating to it for a goal I thought would "nice" but couldn't believe to be my vocation. I could do the work, put in the time, but more often than not, I would find my day ending on a negative note.
I wasn't happy.
I was afraid to admit it because I didn't want to think I had wasted time and other people's time and resources for me to reach the point in my career that I had reached. I didn't want to admit that I had made a mistake in my life choices. But like I said in my first point about mistakes: you accept them and move on. And so I took the time to rethink my life-goals and made the necessary changes to switch from academia to industry. I felt strange about this shift in my life at first, felt like I was quitting, but have found myself much happier.
And we all deserve happiness.
Set aside the pride and the fears and be true to yourself. Take care of what you need to take care of, keep your eyes on your end goal, but don't let yourself feel trapped. Where there is a will there is a way; and where there is desire, there is passion; and where there is passion, there is life.
4) Always appreciate what and who you have, every chance you get.
In college, everything was in close proximity, within your reach. You knew where your friends would be studying so you could join, you ate meals together almost every day, you know everything going on in their lives and you share in events and happenings around campus and suffer together the exams and the projects and grew together as stronger people.
But in graduate school, it can be quite lonely. This crucial point in your academic career, so you don't have much time for much else; and you have little motivation to do much else when you're starting over in a new place trying to acclimate yourself to your new life. You find yourself more interested in spending time alone in your apartment than attending a birthday dinner with your co-workers, or find yourself drifting apart from close friends without so much as a text message from neither you nor them because no one has the time. You go through your old Facebook photos and miss the good old days. And when you finally do come into contact with an old friend, you realize how different each other's lives are and it's not quite the same.
And during these times, I realized that I have taken for granted all the times I've spent with my friends and family and am more grateful now more than ever to have them. The old saying goes 'you don't know what you have until it's gone' or something along those lines. It's quite true, and it's quite sad, but it's life.
Keep contact, make plans, put in the effort to keep the ones you love.
5) Life is not given, it's made.
Life doesn't hand us anything on a silver platter. Don't just sit around and wait to be inspired. It's wrong to expect everything with little effort. Yes, life is unfair, some are better off than others, or are more skilled, or have it "easier" or so we want to believe. But none of that matters, because by the end of each and every day, you are you and your life is in your hands. We can sit around all we want and mope, brood, complain, etc. etc. Or we can get up off our butts and do something about it. We can focus on appreciating more what we already have instead of what we don't.
"What makes us think we deserve more if we can't even appreciate what we already have?" -Bubzbeauty
Lose something? You learned to be more careful. Got screwed over at work? You learned how to choose better when deciding who to trust. Don't have enough money for something that you want? You're glad you realized your priorities and focus on more important things. Whatever our situation is, we should always be glad that it is not worse, because from we see around us everyday, around us, in the news, our lives can be much, much worse.
I honestly believe it's a tragedy of the human existence for anyone to prefer to put effort into making excuses for anything when we are fully capable of putting that effort into improving ourselves.
"What makes us think we deserve more if we can't even appreciate what we already have?" -Bubzbeauty
Lose something? You learned to be more careful. Got screwed over at work? You learned how to choose better when deciding who to trust. Don't have enough money for something that you want? You're glad you realized your priorities and focus on more important things. Whatever our situation is, we should always be glad that it is not worse, because from we see around us everyday, around us, in the news, our lives can be much, much worse.
I honestly believe it's a tragedy of the human existence for anyone to prefer to put effort into making excuses for anything when we are fully capable of putting that effort into improving ourselves.
For 2015 and onward, I will practice what I preach with my new sense of motivation. And so with this, I bid farewell to 2014 and the experiences I was lucky enough to have.
Highlights of my 2014
This was the first New Years where I honestly felt like being an old lady and staying home in my pajamas and doing nothing, but I resisted that bought of laziness and went out - I'm glad I did. After all, any reason to celebrate is a good one - especially things that only happen once a year. Spicy Thai som tom broth, fried dough, ice cut into an atom, and pretty colors also help.
2015, I know we've only barely met for two weeks, but I have a feeling we will have a very interesting if not marvelous year together. The feeling of the new year has been both invigorating and eye opening.
I wish everyone the best of this new year and hope that all your resolutions and wishes come true; and for you all to have the strength and drive to go towards your goals.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Have a wonderful day!
-Chelle
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